#12 - Go to a New Continent

I doubled up with Sri Lanka since I'd never been to Asia!

We also managed to see the Hong Kong airport, a Hong Kong hotel, the Singapore airport, and the tarmac at the Bangkok airport.

#11 - Go To a New Country

The University of San Diego has an international requirement for students at all levels, which is one of the reasons I was drawn to do my doctoral work there.  However, for over a year, I struggled to see even one graduate-level international course that could fulfill my own two requirements: 1) I wanted the course material to be directly relevant to my work in higher education and 2) I wanted to go somewhere I would never go alone.  Many of the courses that seemed to apply to higher education were in Europe or the Caribbean.  Though I have not been to some of the countries offered, I have been to Europe and now I've been to Puerto Rico.  I wanted to go somewhere further, somewhere that would push me outside my comfort zone.

In the fall, I saw postings for "Community Models of Leadership" in Sri Lanka.  Immediately I was drawn to the topic as I believe strongly that recreation is an excellent mode of building community and can be portable for collaboration and community building across offices.  I also feel drawn to campus mental health initiatives that promote community as a practice for good mental health.  I believe I will continue to be drawn to roles where I can foster community.

Then there was the second part: IN SRI LANKA.  I would never consider going to Sri Lanka alone.  It is far away, is just 4 years removed from a 25+-year civil war, and their written characters are close to sanskrit, a language I certainly do not speak or read.  

In this course we worked with the Sarvodaya social movement in Sri Lanka.  More specifically, we worked with the international unit to participate in a shramadana in a village.  For those few days, we would stay with families in a village and work each day on a project of the village's choosing with the villagers.  For us, that ended up being the village of Kelegala in the mountains, and we renovated their preschool.  

This experience more than met my expectations.  I am most grateful for the care I was able to give and receive through our USD contingent, the Sarvodaya staff assigned to us, and the villagers.  Here is a brief summary of our trip.

Tue Jan 7:  I finished packing and drove to LA to stay with Kelley and Jeff Garris in Pasadena.  They took me to a lovely dinner and it was wonderful to catch up.

Wed Jan 8:  We flew to Hong Kong.  Our flight was delayed and we missed our connection so we spent the night in Hong Kong but really only took advantage of the comfy beds and complimentary buffet.

Thu Jan 9:  We lost this day in the time change... or something.  (We left at 12:10pm on the 8th in California, which was already 1:10am on the 9th in Sri Lanka.)

Fri Jan 10:  We flew to Singapore and then Colombo (Sri Lanka).  We arrived late at night, so we drove to a center owned by Sarvodaya to spend the night.

Sat Jan 11:  We went to the Sarvodaya Headquarters and met Dr. Ariyaratne, the founder of the Sarvodaya movement.  We then went to the Sarvodaya Meditation Center, where we met a Buddhist monk who allowed us to join a meditation for children.

Sun Jan 12:  We drove to Nuewa Eliya in the mountains.  It was supposed to take 4-5 hours but instead took 7-8. We did some bonding on the beautiful drive and made some great stops, like at a sweet lodge that caters to rafters on the nearby river.  We learned the village in which we would be staying was a 1 on Sarvodaya's 1-5 scale.  There was a bit of anxiety, especially since the weather is much colder and rainier in the mountains and many of us were not prepared for that.

Mon Jan 13:  We arrived at the village and were immediately overwhelmed with excitement when we saw the line of very young children waiting to place tea-flower leis around our necks.  We walked to the preschool with the villagers and felt immediately welcomed in all the ways people can without language.  We went to our assigned homes, in pairs.  Maria and I stayed in a very nice house that was much nicer than either of us were expecting.  We then went to work on the preschool.  I mostly painted and played games with the children all afternoon.  In the evening, one of the older daughters took us for a walk along the nearby lake with her younger cousin.

"Blowing It Up" caught on quickly in the village.  All the cool kids were doing it.

Tue Jan 14:  We went to work again.  I did some painting, some sifting sand for concrete, and some carrying dirt.  That sounds like a lot but it feels more like I played with the kids, including some cricket.  We spent the afternoon visiting a Buddist temple and a Hindu temple.  We attended a cultural show with a bon fire.  Our group sang "Doe, a Deer" and "Saranganita," a Singhalese song that Mangula taught us earlier in the day.

Wed Jan 15:  We sobbed goodbyes to the villagers in the preschool.  I still don't feel like I did enough physical labor but I love how much joy and laughter now exists in those walls and on that playground.  In the afternoon we visited a tea plantation.

Photo by Sheehan

Thu Jan 16:  We headed to Kandy and made stops at the elephant orphanage, where we got to feed an elephant, and then to ride elephants.  We then stopped quickly at the hotel and then went to the Temple of the Tooth, a Buddhist temple with a relic of the Budda.

Fri Jan 17:  We hiked Sigyiri Rock, maybe one of my favorite non-village parts of the trip.  It was 1202 stairs that lead to an spectacular view.  Then we went to Dambula, which holds five caves that serve as Buddist temples.  There were monkeys everywhere.  We returned to the Sarvodaya Meditation Center in Moratuwa.

Sat Jan 18:  We had a late breakfast and then met with the director of the institute of higher education in Sarvodaya.  We then walked around Moratuwa and did some shopping at the legendary Laksala. 

Sun Jan 19:  We met with Dr. Ariyaratne's daughter, Dr. S. Charika Marasinghe.  She spoke to us of women and children's rights and her skepticism of organizations that rely on donors.  We later met with Dr. Ariyaratne's son, the executive director.  We then had class.  Then we took the van to Colombo to shop and then we headed to the beach to relax and watch the sunset on our last day in Sri Lanka.  We had a late flight with a stop in Hong Kong.

Mon Jan 20:  We arrived in LA.

Thank you, Travelers, for such an unforgettable experience.  #lifechanging #passthelentils

#67 - Perform a Marriage Ceremony.

 What a coincidence!  Chris & Casey asked me to be their wedding officiant!

Okay, maybe they had already asked and I put it on the list but I wasn't about to do this and not count it as a new thing for my list.

When they called, I was expecting to be asked to be in the wedding.  I was not expecting
Casey: "We were hoping you would marry us...  I mean, perform the marriage, not to actually marry us."
Me: "Good, because I don't it's legal for me to marry either of you in the state of Michigan."  (Though I'm hoping Michigan gets it together soon for same-sex marriage.  I'm okay without the right to marry my brother though.)
I was shocked but accepted.

I asked my dear friend Nick Smith how he went about getting ordained, and he sent me to the Universal Life Church.  It is frighteningly easy to become ordained.  No, I didn't have to take a test.  No, I didn't have to make any pledges.  I just had to enter my address and pay $7 to get a certificate.  I paid an extra $4 to get a card for my wallet because I sure wasn't going to turn that down.  That's it.  You know, because marriage is so sacred in the United States.  (There are different rules for each state though, so make sure you look into your state & county regulations if you're thinking of joining those of us of the cloth.)

I then sought out what to wear.  I told Chris & Casey that I wasn't going to be their homely, single, older, cat-lady sister marrying them in a pant suit.  I was going to be cute.  So I found a lacy dress from White House Black Market and colored it up to match the wedding party.

I put off writing my homily for a long time.  That is the part I was the most nervous about.  I have pretty much completely lost my fear of public speaking thanks to my physical education studies and years and years teaching at the college level and facilitating trainings.

I do, however, am terrified of expressing emotions in public.  I also hate letting people read my writing.  So writing something to read in an emotional situation was a little tough.

I took ideas from Kelley Oxley and Jeff Garri's wedding in Las Vegas in December 2012.  Kelley's coworker asked them a series of questions, such as describing their first date and when they first knew they were in love.  It was really sweet to watch them hear the kind words their partner had said about them.

So I did a version of that and then decided to tell it as a story.

I was still missing something though.  I wanted to leave them with a little message or advice or something.  But who am I, their older, never-married sister, to give them marriage advice

So I turned to their parents who have been married for a combined 70 years.  They gave me some small snippets which were just perfect.

The day of the wedding I was somehow just content and confident.  The only thing I would have changed was to find a better way to prep the audience than having them sit directly in the beaming Michigan July sun for 20 or so minutes before we started.  But shuttles are sometimes late.


The ceremony was quick and fun and so very authentic Chris & Casey.

I am honored that they asked me to fulfill such an important role in their day.  I am honored that the wedding guests were so attentive and kind.  I am thankful to Grace Bagunu and Angela Mioglionico who let me practice with them and gave me some thoughtful, kind feedback.

It was a really nice day.

Oh, and last but certainly not least...  I got to sign the marriage license at a bowling alley.  Perfection.