Okay, maybe they had already asked and I put it on the list but I wasn't about to do this and not count it as a new thing for my list.
When they called, I was expecting to be asked to be in the wedding. I was not expecting
Casey: "We were hoping you would marry us... I mean, perform the marriage, not to actually marry us."
Me: "Good, because I don't it's legal for me to marry either of you in the state of Michigan." (Though I'm hoping Michigan gets it together soon for same-sex marriage. I'm okay without the right to marry my brother though.)
I was shocked but accepted.
I asked my dear friend Nick Smith how he went about getting ordained, and he sent me to the Universal Life Church. It is frighteningly easy to become ordained. No, I didn't have to take a test. No, I didn't have to make any pledges. I just had to enter my address and pay $7 to get a certificate. I paid an extra $4 to get a card for my wallet because I sure wasn't going to turn that down. That's it. You know, because marriage is so sacred in the United States. (There are different rules for each state though, so make sure you look into your state & county regulations if you're thinking of joining those of us of the cloth.)
I then sought out what to wear. I told Chris & Casey that I wasn't going to be their homely, single, older, cat-lady sister marrying them in a pant suit. I was going to be cute. So I found a lacy dress from White House Black Market and colored it up to match the wedding party.
I put off writing my homily for a long time. That is the part I was the most nervous about. I have pretty much completely lost my fear of public speaking thanks to my physical education studies and years and years teaching at the college level and facilitating trainings.
I do, however, am terrified of expressing emotions in public. I also hate letting people read my writing. So writing something to read in an emotional situation was a little tough.
I took ideas from Kelley Oxley and Jeff Garri's wedding in Las Vegas in December 2012. Kelley's coworker asked them a series of questions, such as describing their first date and when they first knew they were in love. It was really sweet to watch them hear the kind words their partner had said about them.
So I did a version of that and then decided to tell it as a story.
I was still missing something though. I wanted to leave them with a little message or advice or something. But who am I, their older, never-married sister, to give them marriage advice
So I turned to their parents who have been married for a combined 70 years. They gave me some small snippets which were just perfect.
The day of the wedding I was somehow just content and confident. The only thing I would have changed was to find a better way to prep the audience than having them sit directly in the beaming Michigan July sun for 20 or so minutes before we started. But shuttles are sometimes late.
The ceremony was quick and fun and so very authentic Chris & Casey.
I am honored that they asked me to fulfill such an important role in their day. I am honored that the wedding guests were so attentive and kind. I am thankful to Grace Bagunu and Angela Mioglionico who let me practice with them and gave me some thoughtful, kind feedback.
It was a really nice day.
Oh, and last but certainly not least... I got to sign the marriage license at a bowling alley. Perfection.
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