Sunday, October 25, 2015

Fail 2014: #87 - Visit 3 New Museums

Today I was cleaning up my blog and went through the drafts folder.  I found this.  I guess 2014 was not a good year for museums and me, but I did go to one, and the lovely women who went with me certainly deserve a shout out for yet another adventure in Sri Lanka that was actually on the 2014 list.

1 - The Sarvodaya Museum in Moratuwa, Sri Lanka

My hero Chula, who saved me from the biggest spider I have ever seen not in a zoo, asked to take us to the small museum dedicated to Sarvodaya and Dr. Ariyaratne at the Vishva Niketan International Peace Centre in Moratuwa.  It was a brief visit but a lovely place dedicated to peace and community building.  I highly recommend it if you ever find yourself at the beautiful peace center, which I highly recommend if you ever find yourself in Moratuwa, which I recommend if you ever find yourself in Colombo, which is the largest city in the beautiful country of Sri Lanka.



Museums 2 & 3 didn't happen in 2014, but I'll keep this list item every year because it's brought me to some cool places.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

#18 - Don't Drink for 3 Weeks

I don't have photos of me not drinking, except for those of me
surfing, so instead, included here are all of the rebuttals to my
internal message that life is rough, and I should probably have
a drink after a tough day, which is every day.  I live here.  I get
to do really fun things regularly.  Having a drink is fine, but I
definitely need to stop using my "situation" as a reason to drink.
This is my situation.  Like, literally.  This is my neighborhood
(Golden Hill), and it's this beautiful often.
In 2011, I took a week off drinking, which wasn't that tough.  I likely would have been if it hadn't been for the list support from a friend who didn't drink, so we were off doing other fun things, like fishing.  Yes, you can fish sober.  If you're with the right people, it's still fun.  I mean it.  No.  Really.

Then, I had 'don't drink for..." items on the list for 3 years (2012, 2013, 2014) before I accomplished the next one, which was for 2 weeks, in 2014.  Really, the only reason I managed it was because I went to Sri Lanka for almost 2 weeks for a class, and none of us made a point to order a drink on any of the few occasions we could have.  Sri Lanka is a largely Buddhist (and Hindu and Muslim and Christian) country, so there weren't that many opportunities to drink even if we'd wanted to.  (There was no wine available after I saw the spider the size of my hand because I could have used some juice to get myself to sleep that night.)

This is a real life sunset from this year.
I mean, wow.


One of many beautiful sunsets
playing beach volleyball in OB
this summer.
Because I managed 2 weeks last year, I upped the ante to 3 weeks this year.  I honestly didn't think I'd do it.  There were a few chunks of time in my calendar that it seemed feasible, but then I'd have a rough day and want a glass of wine, or a friend would call and ask if I wanted to go get a drink, and I did.  Once the fall hit, between football season, Thanksgiving in Hawaii with my parents, and then winter break back in Ann Arbor, I figured there's no way 3 whole weeks would happen.

Then, one Thursday night, I was out drinking with some friends, and after some fun and some heart to hearts, things got suddenly, intensely emotional.  I wasn't expecting it.  And I was frustrated that I wasn't fully there.  And I got a rocking headache that lasted probably 24 hours.  I had to call in sick the next morning it was so bad.  It was definitely a stress headache, but the booze I'd consumed earlier that night certainly didn't help.  My body felt completely dehydrated from alcohol, sweat, and tears, and I'd been too out of it to rehydrate before bed.

Over the past few months, I've been studying Buddhism a bit.  Buddhism prohibits drinking alcohol or partaking in other mind-altering substances because in Buddhism, it's incredibly important to remain present, and one cannot remain present under the influence.  I've always seen this as just one of the reasons I could not actually be Buddhist, despite my attraction to much of the religion,which is despite my aversion to all religion.  Being in the moment and being unable to be fully present and connect with my own emotions, I wondered what life would be like if I did stop drinking and committed to being present with myself.  (Here's a link to a really basic, wonderful book about mindfulness and Buddhism.)

Our backdrop for Big Ten kickball one night was incredible.

I still didn't intend to complete this list item, but suddenly, I didn't crave alcohol like I often do.  I have a real fondness for both wine and whiskey, but, more than that, I had developed a habit of a night cap or two most nights, especially after a stressful day.  I noticed I convinced myself I deserved a drink every day, even though I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, I get to do amazing things I enjoy nearly every day, and I'm pursuing stressful but exciting life goals in my doctoral work.  I was not so stressed that I needed a drink every night.  I certainly didn't need several drinks yet I found ways to justify those too.

The 3 weeks went by surprisingly quickly.  Only once do I remember being tempted to drink, but it happened when I was at work and the bartenders were making some interesting cocktails, and I wanted to try them.  Luckily, I was at work, and I'm not allowed to sample the cocktails, so it wasn't too tough to resist.  More than once during the 3 weeks I was with friends who were drinking and I easily said no.  I'm still a bit shocked at how easy it was.

I helped start the University of Michigan Club of San Diego Hiking Group.
One morning we hiked down to Cedar Creek falls.
A few of us braved the freezing water to swim in this beautiful... water hole?
I don't know what to call it.  Natural pool?
Whatever, that's VV and me nonchalantly posing for the camera after swimming across the icy water.

This is where I work.
For a few days, when I got to the point of the night when I'd usually pour myself a drink, I poured myself a fancy soda, a coconut water, or some tea.  Generally my body wanted something sweet, and the corner store just 3 doors down now carries those tiny bottles of Original New York Seltzer.  I'm not a big soda drinker in general, so usually half a pint was plenty to relieve the craving.

The ease of stopping was the best part of these 3 weeks.  I've been a little worried that I would be unable to stop drinking.  When I lived in Chicago, I developed quick a drinking habit.  I would regularly polish off a bottle of wine by myself or go through a decent portion of a bottle of Jack.  I drank often and a lot.  (Lesson learned: don't continuously try to impress rugby players with your amazing drinking abilities.  Never ever has this been worth it.)  The habit has continued during my life in California.  I drink as often but not as much in a day, on my light or heavy days.  I still wasn't sure if I would be able to stop on my own.  I'm relieved that I could.
One of the beautiful views at Torrey Pines State Park

This is where I go to school.


The worst part of completing these 3 weeks is that I don't feel much different.  I really expected to feel healthier and lighter in spirit.  I've also been working out very regularly and upping my intensity, so I expected to feel fitter, stronger.  I expected to sleep better.  Honestly, none of those things happened.  I may be slightly fitter but it feels like that is entirely due to my workout "routine" (which is anything but routine).

It's been almost a week since I completed this list item, and I've only had one day of drinking that centered around college football.  I hope this 3 week period slowed down the work my liver has had to do these past few years.  I still have yet to feel the evidence of actually being healthier for stopping drinking, but I'm hopeful it'll show up soon.


Cheers!

Thursday, October 15, 2015

#46 - Surf at Least 12 Times

Way back in 2011, when I first started this list endeavor, I had as an item: "Surf... for More Than One Second."  I'm not sure what I accomplished on a board counted for more than one second, but it was real surfing on the ocean, so I counted it.  That was on a visit to San Diego.  Now that I live here, I own a surfboard and a wetsuit.  I have constant access to the ocean.  I enjoy surfing despite my lack of natural talent and skill.  Yet, I rarely went.  I wanted to change that.  So I added "Surf at Least 12 Times" to my list this year.

My list is partly about trying new things, but it's also about doing things I've always wanted to do... or at least have spent some time wanting to do.  I would love to be a surfer.  My next step is making actual time in my day for surfing and going regularly.  Writing this goal down on my list worked swimmingly.  (Yay puns!)

1 - Monday, June 28
I don't know how much time I have left in San Diego, so I decided to max out all of my San Diego activities.  I put a few on this list.  That wasn't good enough, so I put them on my to do lists.  That worked a bit, but I still wanted to do more, so I planned my workouts, at least for the summer.  Sunday: beach volleyball; Monday: surf; Tuesday: yoga; Wednesday: more beach volleyball (that's my sport); Thursday: swim; Friday: hike; Saturday: run.  Beach volleyball and yoga have been in the plan.  I started swimming last week.  This week I would start surfing and hiking once a week.  I got up on Monday, dragged my board, wetsuit, and towel to the car, and headed to Ocean Beach.  I suited up and headed into the water at dog beach.  I waded out at low tide.  My first wave, I just rode lying on my stomach to just enjoy the moment and remember just how fast a wave can take me.  I headed back out and just missed a few good ones.  Then I hit one and just couldn't get going.  When I slowed, I looked down and saw a huge thing under my board.  I inwardly panicked a bit, even though I was only 4 or so feet deep.  Then I realized the thing was white.  Then I realized it was part of my board.  Then I realized my board was busted, the whole front bottom of the fiberglass peeled back.  It had only been 10-15 minutes, so I half-heartedly tried to catch another wave, but there was so much drag there was no chance.  And I stepped on something squishy that swam away from under my foot.  So I went in.  I'm trying to think of a way to get a new board, but I'm so broke, that I'm not sure it will happen.  I'm so bummed that my board busted right after I acted on my weekly surfing plan.

2 - Monday, July 13
I was hanging out with my buddy Erin Gillespie on Friday night and told her the tragedy of my board.  She offered to let me use her extra board.  In fact, she said, I could just hold on to it for now because she only used it when taking a friend surfing, and they always had to at least rent a wetsuit anyways, so if I was going to use it...  So kind.  So Monday morning, I checked Surfline, picked up Erin's extra board, and headed to OB to continue my Monday morning surfing "routine."  I went for the dog beach again because of the proximity to the lifeguards.  I rode one wave to get the feel and then headed back out again.  On my way out, I stepped on something that moved from beneath my foot.  I convinced myself it was just sand.  I managed to kneel consistently and stand at the end of one wave.  But then I stepped on something else, and I swear it was squishy.  This time I convinced myself it was seaweed.  Then I stepped on something else that was squishy and, I swear, swam out from under my foot.  I told myself I was fine, there was no point in worrying about something that wasn't hurting me, but I decided to swim instead of walk out.  Which meant I only caught small, broken waves because I was too exhausted from all of that swimming.  I stayed out as long as I promised myself I would because I decided, in that moment, that I didn't want to be afraid of surfing, especially when the scariest thing so far had been squishy things, which were probably not stingrays because it's dog beach, and it would be stupid to have a dog beach in a spot with that many stingrays that I stepped on 3 in 30 minutes.... 3 that didn't sting me.  However, I think I'm going to try the pier side of OB next week, just to shake that squishy fear.

3 - Monday, July 27
I missed a week due to rain.  We don't surf here in San Diego after a rainstorm due to water pollution and risk of infection.  I got back out there the week after though.  This time I went to the pier in Ocean Beach, which is where I took my swim lesson.  There are plusses and minuses to this location.  I like the waves better, but there's a strong undertow, so it can be exhausting to walk in the shallows.  There are also a ton of surf lessons going on, especially with kids, so I feel safer, but there are also way more people to avoid, people like me who don't know what they're doing.  I managed to stand once, but I didn't have a ton of time, so I didn't get my flow going.

4 - Monday, August 3
Back to the dog beach this week to overcome my fear of the squishy things.  I have decided it's just sand moving beneath my feet with the tide and the undertow.  I was a little braver this week but the waves were small.  I can consistently catch a wave and kneel but by the time I get my feet under me, the wave has petered out, and I just hop off.

5 - Friday, August 14
Today I had my surfing buddy Tara Edberg back.  We went to the OB pier, where it was crowded, but the waves were decent.  I found myself catching faster, deeper waves, probably because I was a bit braver with a buddy to distract me.  I need to get just a bit braver and faster because even though I was deeper and had longer to ride the wave, I was so concerned with balancing before standing that I still wasn't standing until the wave was dying out.  Next goal: stand up quick when I catch a good one and just fall if I fall.

6 - Friday, August 21
I tried out a new spot today: South Mission Beach.  It's more a spot for beach volleyballers than surfers, but since it has a huge parking lot, and I was going in the evening, I thought I'd try it out.  The waves were tiny but somehow I got up consistently and had the longest rides I'd ever had.

7 - Thursday, August 27
I met Kai & Tara in Mission Beach for a late afternoon surf.  The waves were rolling and tough to ride, but the dolphins playing all around us more than made up for the bad surfing.  It was a beautiful afternoon, and Kai & I stayed until sunset, chatting and having photo shoots.  She even made a collage of all the sweet shots of the day.


8 - Thursday, September 2

Waves weren't great today.  I floated around and got up a couple times, but dog beach was a choppy mess.

9 - Friday, September 18

Things started well at South Mission Beach, but then the ocean got ROUGH.  I tried to stay where I could still touch, but the undertows kept changing the depth of the sand, and the waves were coming from multiple directions and were at multiple heights, so every now and then I'd be walking in waist deep water, hit a deep spot where I couldn't touch, and, hanging onto my surfboard tightly, would brace for a 3-4 foot wave to come crashing down on me.  I still managed to get up a few times, but the waves were so scattered and there were so many swimmers now that summer is over and there aren't as many surfing-only-area regulations, so I had a rough go today.  Still, any day getting beat up by the ocean is a good day.

10 - Thursday, October 1

Today was my best day of surfing yet.  I stood up at least 10 times.  I probably would have fit in more rides but there was a line of even-more-beginner surfers just a bit shallower than me, who, I swear, were doing their best to block me from any waves.  It felt like every time a good wave would come, I'd check to see if there was anyone in my way, and there were like 4 people in my way, with boards parallel to the shore, like a defensive line.  I immediately felt guilty for every surfer I've blocked because, dang, it's so hard to get out of the way when you don't know how.

Then, sadly, I had to return the board I've been using because it's owner moved back to the coast and wants to use it.  I've grown to love my weekly surfing excursions, and I still have 2 more rides to complete this item, so I hope I can figure something out!

11 - Thursday, October 8

It hasn't even been a week, and 2 nights ago, after finding nothing on Craig's List, I was on Yelp, searching for surf shops that had high ratings and mentions of used boards.  I found quite a few.  But then yesterday, I was in Linda Vista for a meeting at USD with my dissertation chair, so I stopped in Bird's Surf Shed.

The owner's son, Jackson, listened to my experience and heard that I was looking for something a step up from a foam board but still inexpensive.  He showed me a few boards but told me that a Torq would be a good next step for me.  They were in the $400 range, which is very reasonable for a surfboard; they increase in price with size, and the bigger the board, the easier it is.  The foam board I'd be using was an 8'.  He then showed me a 6'10" "used" Torq that was only $350 and didn't look used at all.  I told him I'd picked up some extra shifts at work, and I'd mull it over.  Before I left, he brought me to the back, pulled up a beat-up, foam-top, 6'6" Torq.  He told me it was a demo board and that I could take it out to see how I liked the style.  Like, could just try it before buying anything.  AWESOME.

I took it out today (the next day) and had a blast.  I only got up once, but after 30 or so minutes, I was getting the feel of it.  I kept riding too far back because I was used to seeing a lot more board in front of me, but I knew that's what I was doing and was adjusting well.

I lied in the sun for a bit then went back to Bird's.  Jackson chatted with me a little longer, and then, on request, left me along in the aisle to think.  I mulled over a few options, but my choice eventually came down to 1) working a lot of extra shifts at my 2nd and 3rd jobs and coming back to buy a new board over 7' or 2) buying the 6'10" used board for $150 less.  I decided the used board would be a smarter grad-student decision, though buying a board at all was a stupid grad-student decision.

As Jackson took me to check out, someone told him to check on the status of the board, and I was nervous for a hot second that the board had already been sold.  It turns out someone had called about it 10 minutes prior to come look at it.  But, since I was there ready to buy, the board was mine.  One of the staff put on the fins and polished it up for me while Jackson helped me pick a leash, got me some wax and a t-shirt, and rung me up.

I have a new board.

12 - Sunday, October 11

Friday and Saturday were so packed with work that I had to wait until today to take out my new board.  I drove down the coast after a Torrey Pines hike and lunch in Encinitas with camp friends.  I stopped at South Mission Beach because there's easy parking there, even on a weekend.

And we lived happily ever after
The waves were huge.  The board (nickname: Bae) was fantastic.  I had a great time.  It's definitely going to take some getting used to, but I was already getting up.  I stuck to the white water because the waves were around 5 feet, which is a bit above my experience, but with waves that big, I got some decent rides.

It's funny.  I wrote this list item to get myself to surf more often, and somehow this 12-installment story had some twists and turns and has a happy ending.

13 - Monday, October 12 (Epilogue)

I don't know that I'll update every time I get out to surf, but this is the first time I've ever done 2 days in a row.  I love my new board, and my arms are exhausted.

?? - Friday, November 21

I have surfed several times in between these posts (with a break because of my tattoo), but I wanted to give credit to my family for going to the "beach" I wanted to visit so I could attempt to surf in Hawaii.  The surfing itself didn't go so well.  The surf report only had 1-2 foot waves, but I figured I'd catch a few baby ones just to say I
 surf in Hawaii.  My dad rented me a board at a friendly shop near Kahalu'u Beach Park.  There, I learned that the bottom is incredibly rocky, full of coral, and swarming with creatures, not all friendly.  Getting to the break requires walking carefully (read: awkwardly stumbling over lava rock of deceptively varying heights) out until at least consistently waist-deep water so as not to damage the board on the rocks, then swimming a good 250 yards to the break against the waves.  I was instructed to belly flop whenever falling off in order to avoid the dangerous bottom.  Slightly different conditions than wading into the soft, beachy sands that I'm used to and taking breaks in waist deep water whenever I feel like it.  By the time I got out there, I was exhausted.  Then, the break was itty bitty.  Being a novice surfer, when the waves are small, I stay shallow and then jump into them to catch them around low tide when they're still semi-rideable.  250 yards out in who-knows-how-deep water, that strategy wasn't going to work.  The break was so tiny I just couldn't catch anything.  I was too tired to paddle fast enough to catch any break that wasn't right on me, which none of them were.  So I floated for a bit.

"Surfing" in Hawaii

The water was incredibly clear, so I could see a ton of brightly-colored fish under me in the rocks and coral, definitely a different scene from cloudy San Diego beach water.  The other surfers there seemed pretty experienced, but even they weren't catching much.  They were just messing around on foam boards, which may have been the only way to get up in those conditions.  They did give me a shaka and an "Aloha" as I paddled up and were friendly and fun, so even though I couldn't catch a wave, I enjoyed visiting the Hawaiian surfing community.  My brother had much better luck with snorkeling in the area, seeing a barracuda, a sea turtle, and several other creatures.  I would have taken a turn but by the time I got back in, I was nauseous from riding the swells and staring down or back.  It was still worth a try though!  Thanks for renting me a board, Dad, and to the rest of the Krones for coming with me!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

#58 - Become a Red Cross Disaster Services Volunteer

Ever since I was forced to watch that dang Fundamentals of Instructor Training video in 2001 to become a Water Safety Instructor for the American Red Cross (which I was forced to do through my undergraduate major), a piece of me has wanted to volunteer through Disaster Services.  Each subsequent time I watched the video (for my Lifeguarding Instructor certification; for my Water Safety Instructor training observation, practice co-teach, and practice teach; for my Lifeguarding Instructor Trainer practice teach; and then probably a thousand more times each time I taught an instructor course... This list now sounds like a brag list of my certifications, but really it's just leftover frustration that Fundamentals of Instructor Training was ever a course and my jealousy that now instructors do some online thing that seems way better), my interest and desire grew a little more, because each time, I felt mentally, emotionally, and physically more capable of responding to an emergency.

My first two American Red Cross certifications are laughable to anyone who knew me pre-physical-education major.  I was not a strong swimmer growing up.  I could swim, but my strokes all needed some major work.  My parents still need some convincing sometimes that I can even swim.  I think it was 2010 when they oversaw me playing water polo, and said, "We didn't realize you were such a strong swimmer!  At the time I had worked full-time in aquatics for 5 years and had both my swim instructor and lifeguarding certifications for 9 years.

However, aquatic certifications are desirable in the world of recreation.  When I applied to be a day camp counselor in the summer of 2001, they told me they'd love to hire me... as a swim instructor.  When I explained that I had never actually taught swimming, they told me the certification was good enough.  So I taught swimming.  And lifeguarded.  For the next 15 years.  Every summer.  And, for 7 years, also as part of my full-time job working in aquatics.

I still cannot believe I worked in aquatics for 7 years.

In that time, I not only became a very strong swimmer, I taught others to be very strong swimmers.  I also responded to a lot of first aid emergencies and non-emergencies.

I splinted bones and joints.  I controlled bleeding.  I managed seizures.

I don't believe I ever responded to something truly life threatening (except pulling people out of the water prior to their situation becoming life threatening), but I saw some things that scared me.

The scariest emergency I've ever witnessed involved a lot of blood, and I won't go into any more detail for the privacy of the victim.  I found the victim with a friend, both of whom I knew but not well.  I helped them to a safe, private room and alerted someone to call 911.  I sent someone else to gather towels.  I told her help was on the way, and while we were waiting, we'd do some paperwork.  I then pulled out an accident report form and calmly asked the two what had happened as well as some personal information required on the form.

The next day, the friend saw me in passing and said s/he was so glad they'd found me because s/he had been freaking out and asked something like, "How'd you know my friend was going to be okay?"  And I responded with an emphatic, "Oh, I didn't.  I was really scared.  Have you heard from your friend?  Is s/he going to be okay?"  The friend couldn't believe that I had been scared and told me how calming I had been.

What I've learned through teaching and real-life experience is that I am really, really good at recognizing my own panic, packing it up into a little ball, setting it aside for later, taking action to help victims, managing all aspects of situations, and appearing very calm and relaxed on the outside.
ID card official

While Disaster Services is quite different than responding directly to emergencies and/or being a professional rescuer, I believe that my ability to be still amidst chaos would translate well.  I like being the personification of reassurance.  Everyone is more level headed and makes better decisions when someone can confidently reassure them that everything will work out for the best if we can all take the actions we can right now.  Disasters are inevitable, but good decisions and comfort
can save lives, physically and emotionally.

This summer, I convinced myself that since I am done with classes and "only" working on my research and working part-time, I would have time to volunteer.  I finally signed up for a Disaster Services orientation and it was surprisingly informative and painless.  '

I still have a long way to go before I work my first gig, but having a name badge and next steps certainly crosses this one of the list for now.

I'll be sure to update this blog post (or post new ones) as this item progresses through the year.