#38 - See a Shark in Open Water

I started this story in the previous post about snorkeling.  And before you get your hopes up that I was just out in the open water snorkeling and a big shark swam up coincidentally, well... don't.  I was on a shark tour in La Jolla Cove.

Every August and September leopard sharks swarm La Jolla Cove to, um... breed or something.  I forget.  But it's some combination of the shallow, warm(ish) waters of the cove and the proximity to food sources.  There are leopard sharks in there during other parts of the year too, but August and September, when the water is the warmest, has the most.

I bought a Living Social deal for a shark tour before I moved here, but...  I let it expire and then never looked at it again.


Then, a couple months ago, I found another deal on Groupon.  $40 for a 2-person shark tour with La Jolla Water Sports.  Click.  Mine.

Grace, in her determination to make the top 10 list, called dibs on joining me.

It did take me a very long time to book it.  This summer was much busier than I anticipated.  I wish we could have timed it to go with Tara & Emma but we didn't.

Our guide, Eddie, was chipper and chatty.  I liked that.  He got us suited up, went over safety stuff, and pointed out the animals we might see on our swim.

We walked out to the beach and then backwards into the water doing what they call the "stingray shuffle."  You see, that section of La Jolla Cove is also called "Stingray Alley."  "Why?" you ask.  Well, you shouldn't because it's fairly obvious that it's because there are a ton of stingrays there.  They're not going to seriously injury or kill you, but they will give you a very nasty, very painful sting if you step on them.  So, do you avoid it, you just walk backwards, shuffling your fins along the bottom.  The vibrations in the sand disturb them enough that they swim away before you get too close to where they are.

Around waist-deep water, I started swimming.  Within a minute I saw my first shark.  My heart jumped into my throat.  It was 4 or 5 feet long.  Just swimming.  Like 6 feet from me.  It swam into the murkiness and I jumped up.  "Um...  I just saw one."  Eddie said, "Already?"  And I questioned whether or not my mind was playing tricks on me but then he went down and popped back up and said, "Yep, they're here."

I know a lot about sharks.  And I know that as long as I don't step on a leopard shark, they're not dangerous to me.  I also know that there's no way they'd let me step on them.  They're more much attuned to their underwater surroundings than I am so they'd sense or see me before I'd see them, and they'd swim away.  But still...  That was a big animal.  And it was in waist-deep water.  In an area with people everywhere.  It caught my breath to think about what kinds of animals are all over when I'm out surfing and not looking underneath the water at all.  Then I reminded myself that we were in the cove, where these animals are plentiful, and that's why we were snorkeling there instead of Mission Beach.  And then I reminded myself that I was on a shark tour and I should keep my eyes moving and mind still and enjoy myself.

Soon after we saw a bat ray.  It was just flying along the bottom.  So pretty.

I saw a few other sting rays.  A few other sharks.

I could stay present for the rays but inwardly panicked each time I saw a shark.  I wanted to pop up and tell someone instead of just keep my eyes down and watch it beautifully swim away from me.

I think a few things were throwing me.
1. They're big.  I mean, not big, like I'm big.  But really, most animals you just run into in their own habitats are much smaller than a person.  Back in the Midwest, especially the parts I've lived in, even seeing a deer is a bit jarring, though I suppose not scary.  Everything else is much smaller than a deer though.  A skunk.  A hedgehog.  A squirrel.  A chipmunk.  Once I saw a coyote.  This was an animal only a foot or so shorter than me, and I was in its space.  It reminded me a bit of seeing a loose dog, one that you know is probably docile and friendly, but maybe it's a species that's notorious for being aggressive.
2.  The water was murky.  That alarmed me as soon as my face went in the water.  In all my 20+ years watching Shark Week, I know the situations where you're an idiot and if you get bit, it's your stupid fault.  One is murky water.  And now I was there, in murky water, with sharks.  I could probably only see 6-8 feet in any direction.  It was even tough to tell if sea weed and rocks were animals until I was right over them.


We swam towards an artificial reef.  By the time we got there, I was nauseated.  I had not even considered that I might get motion sick.  And I was.  I was trying to stay calm in the murky water, swimming over rocks that might or might have animals in or around them, and feeling tossed around, seeing these rocks get closer than further.  Plus, I hate breathing through snorkels.

I swam over to tell Eddie I had to head in.  He had a lobster.  I touched it.  Then I swam to the beach, which took awhile and I didn't see anything but fish on my way in.

I was bummed I wasn't out in the water seeing more sharks.  It has been a dream of mine to swim with sharks in open water, even if they were just leopard sharks.  But, I was sick.  And, now that I know where they are, I don't need to go on a tour.  I can just suit up with Tara and we can go again.  Maybe after popping some Dramamine.

#35 - Snorkel

  I am, and likely many of my friends, colleagues, and even acquaintances are, surprised I haven't done this one yet.  Though...  after doing it, I'm not sure I'm a snorkler.

I've always wanted to snorkel... and also to swim with sharks.  I found a Groupon for a Shark Tour for Two in La Jolla Cover, which is where the leopard sharks gather every August and September.

Grace Bagunu was again my company in this endeavor.  I'll give the whole experience in my next post so as not to be too repetitive.

I will say that I was totally freaked out most of the time, with the murky water and with the large and stinging animals that were everywhere, the first of which I saw at only 3-4 feet deep: a 4-5 foot leopard shark.  There were people swimming and surfing and snorkeling everywhere in there.  I kept thinking, um... so are these creatures, like, everywhere when I'm surfing too?  Because um... probably!

I also got really, really motion sick probably 30 minutes in and headed in early.  I know I am sensitive to motion sickness but had never gotten motion sick outside of a vehicle.  Usually I'm in a car, plane, even on a boat.  When I surf or swim, I'm fine.  Well, floating and getting thrown around the in the tide and a hazy bottom sure did the trick.


I hope I'll prepare better and try it again.

#45 - Volunteer for a Mental Health Non-Profit

Starting from the application process of my doctoral program, I have been drawn to exploring mental health on campuses.  I grew up with parents who worked as mental health professionals, which likely inspired this interest in the first place.  I minored in psychology in undergrad but decided not to pursue a career in mental health.  However, this interest has stayed with me and each year I find myself more affected by the stories and experiences of others.

Since the shootings at Virginia Tech in 2007, I have been troubled by the trend of wishing to rid universities of potentially threatening students.  I worry that in focusing on identifying and removing students others find threatening, we will increase the stigma of mental illness so much that individuals who are not and will not be prone to violence towards others will be even more reluctant to seek help in fear of losing their academic lives and community.  I also worry about what will happen to the individuals who are removed from campuses and what kinds of follow up processes exist to prevent violence in another realm.

In 2012, the Dean of Students at my old university took his life weeks after learning his position would be eliminated.  Losing Mike was already overwhelming for many in our community to handle, but even more distressing for some was the administrative response.  I learned how important it is to care for everyone affected by mental illness, whether it is an individual directly, those who surround that individual indirectly, or an organization must respond after a crisis.

Less than a week later, I lost my cousin after he battled bipolar disorder for many years.  I had always known that phone call might likely come some day.  Brandon had attempted suicide several times.  But Brandon was such a charismatic, curious, thoughtful, hard-working person when he was well that I held onto the hope that he would defeat his demons and find peace in life instead of death.  

These personal and national incidents have kept me involved in examining mental health in communities and in caring for my loved ones.

This past year, after studying it and repeatedly articulating how important attention to mental health is, I felt disconnected between the research and academic work I have been doing and actual practice.  I decided to add this to the list so I could actually be contributing to improving mental health in some realm, somewhere.

Very sadly, the opportunity to connect concerns about mental health to my current campus of the University of San Diego presented itself four times already in 2013.  Our community has lost 4 undergraduate students to suicide since January of this year.  I have heard a rumor that we lost a part-time staff member as well, but I have not confirmed that.  Three of those deaths happened at the same time I was working on a literature review of the stigma of mental illness on campuses.  One happened very close to a subcommunity of which I am a part: Campus Recreation lost one of our student employees.  

While I did not know any of the students personally, I felt an emotional blow each time I heard the news.  I was also struck, sometimes paralyzed, at the way people talked about this tragic phenomenon we were experiencing and the way the community was inadvertently increasing the stigma of mental illness and seeking help during efforts to respond to these deaths.  I was incredibly aware, saddened, and tense about the lack of knowledge and dangerous assumptions that were being made at all levels in the response.

I finally found myself inclined to send an e-mail to the Vice President of Student Affairs office.  I did my best to simply offer the passion and commitment I have to this topic in connecting it to the practices and responses happening on campus currently.  I wanted to contribute to the community while also furthering my own knowledge and study of this topic.

It took awhile to get a response but I finally received an e-mail from Dr. Moises Baron in the Counseling Center.  He asked for a meeting with me.  

In the meeting, we discussed my studies.  He offered some research and ideas to help me study, and, more importantly than that, asked if I would join a newly formed Suicide Prevention Working Group.  While I feel strongly that campuses should be working towards creating caring communities, not just preventing suicide, this experience would be invaluable.  I would be able to contribute in practice and research while my campus community is recovering and responding to tragic events.

I have now attended two meetings with a third in the near future.  I have volunteered to assist in planning programming, including connecting our work to roles I already hold, such as potentially involving Campus Recreation in wellness and event planning.  I also hope that I can further my research on stigma and to think about ways we should be applying stigma-decreasing practices so that our community can better recognize distressing thoughts and behaviors and to seek help.

I am excited about this opportunity and look forward to staying involved as long as possible.