#16 - Don't Drink for 29 Days

My word for this year is RELIEF
My secret word for this year is FREEDOM

My non-drinking buddy, JJ

29 days? Why 29 days?

Well, because since I've started this list, in 2011, I have included some length of increasing time to go without drinking. The first year it was 1 week. Then I tried a month. That didn't happen. Then I tried a month again. That didn't happen again. Then I tried 2 weeks. Then 3. Then 4 weeks again. Still couldn't quite make it, but that was also the most intensely stressful year of my life, with finishing and then defending my dissertation, job searching, moving across the country, disliking that decision, interviewing for another job, and moving again. In 2017, I did 4 weeks. In 2018, I tried 5 weeks, but I just couldn't quite get there. So, to increase my time and make my goal achievable, I went with 4 weeks and 1 day: 29 days.

I decided to start with the new year, partly because I didn't have any big drinking events on my calendar in January and because several of my friends practice Dry January. I figured both of those things would set me up for success and make me feel good about moving healthily into the new year.

The first few weeks were really pretty easy. I realized I had a habit of having something comforting to drink in the evening, something with a little sugar. I started with chocolate milk. That worked but it was tough to keep so much milk on hand. I switched to chamomile tea with a little milk and honey. That was a perfect substitute. Comforting and only slightly sweet. Plus, a half liter of milk lasted me a long time and tea and honey were easy to keep stocked.

Look, this town is beautiful and fun, even when sober

About 3 weeks in, one night, I ran out of chamomile and milk, and I struggled. That's when my red wine cravings came back. It didn't help that I'd subscribed to a wine club and a box with 15 BOTTLES of red wine had showed up at my door.

The last 7-9 days were tough. I really wanted wine. I didn't feel like I was craving the buzz, just the flavor. It felt similar to craving chocolate, though that particularly craving is rare for me, so maybe more like pizza or buffalo wings... mmm... buffalo wings... I just wanted it.

But I held strong. I made it 29 days.

One thing I've learned is that in doing this practice, I become pickier and pickier about what I drink. I don't really drink beer anymore. There's great beer sitting in my fridge that I should probably throw out it's been in there so long, untouched. I mostly stick to red wine, bourbon, or scotch. If I want something while out and there's no decent wine around, I'll usually go for a vodka soda. Maybe a margarita if I'm in the right place (like San Diego). But I'd rather not drink than drink something just to drink something. I want to actually enjoy it.

Here we are hiding from
the -30 degree windchill

I've also learned that even if I want a glass of red wine, one with dinner and one shortly before bed is plenty, and I can fill the time in between with tea. I learned I need to keep comforting herbal tea with honey and milk on hand so that becomes my habit when I want something other than water to drink in the evenings. That seems doable.

I'm grateful to myself for taking on this practice regularly so that I can reexamine my drinking habits and become a more mindful drinker. I don't see myself ever giving up drinking entirely, just like I haven't been able to give up pizza, but I can realize that those things in excess are hard on my body, and mind, and I'm able to develop new habits.

Special thanks to Stephanie Souvenir and Laney Cherveney, who had a sober Two Bar Tuesday with me, playing board games, sipping water, and eating snacks. It was a pleasant evening :)