#18 - Don't Drink for 3 Weeks

I don't have photos of me not drinking, except for those of me
surfing, so instead, included here are all of the rebuttals to my
internal message that life is rough, and I should probably have
a drink after a tough day, which is every day.  I live here.  I get
to do really fun things regularly.  Having a drink is fine, but I
definitely need to stop using my "situation" as a reason to drink.
This is my situation.  Like, literally.  This is my neighborhood
(Golden Hill), and it's this beautiful often.

In 2011, I took a week off drinking, which wasn't that tough.  I likely would have been if it hadn't been for the list support from a friend who didn't drink, so we were off doing other fun things, like fishing.  Yes, you can fish sober.  If you're with the right people, it's still fun.  I mean it.  No.  Really.

Then, I had 'don't drink for..." items on the list for 3 years (2012, 2013, 2014) before I accomplished the next one, which was for 2 weeks, in 2014.  Really, the only reason I managed it was because I went to Sri Lanka for almost 2 weeks for a class, and none of us made a point to order a drink on any of the few occasions we could have.  Sri Lanka is a largely Buddhist (and Hindu and Muslim and Christian) country, so there weren't that many opportunities to drink even if we'd wanted to.  (There was no wine available after I saw the spider the size of my hand because I could have used some juice to get myself to sleep that night.)

This is a real life sunset from this year.
I mean, wow.

One of many beautiful sunsets
playing beach volleyball in OB
this summer.

Because I managed 2 weeks last year, I upped the ante to 3 weeks this year.  I honestly didn't think I'd do it.  There were a few chunks of time in my calendar that it seemed feasible, but then I'd have a rough day and want a glass of wine, or a friend would call and ask if I wanted to go get a drink, and I did.  Once the fall hit, between football season, Thanksgiving in Hawaii with my parents, and then winter break back in Ann Arbor, I figured there's no way 3 whole weeks would happen.

Then, one Thursday night, I was out drinking with some friends, and after some fun and some heart to hearts, things got suddenly, intensely emotional.  I wasn't expecting it.  And I was frustrated that I wasn't fully there.  And I got a rocking headache that lasted probably 24 hours.  I had to call in sick the next morning it was so bad.  It was definitely a stress headache, but the booze I'd consumed earlier that night certainly didn't help.  My body felt completely dehydrated from alcohol, sweat, and tears, and I'd been too out of it to rehydrate before bed.

Over the past few months, I've been studying Buddhism a bit.  Buddhism prohibits drinking alcohol or partaking in other mind-altering substances because in Buddhism, it's incredibly important to remain present, and one cannot remain present under the influence.  I've always seen this as just one of the reasons I could not actually be Buddhist, despite my attraction to much of the religion,which is despite my aversion to all religion.  Being in the moment and being unable to be fully present and connect with my own emotions, I wondered what life would be like if I did stop drinking and committed to being present with myself.  (Here's a link to a really basic, wonderful book about mindfulness and Buddhism.)

Our backdrop for Big Ten kickball one night was incredible.

I still didn't intend to complete this list item, but suddenly, I didn't crave alcohol like I often do.  I have a real fondness for both wine and whiskey, but, more than that, I had developed a habit of a night cap or two most nights, especially after a stressful day.  I noticed I convinced myself I deserved a drink every day, even though I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, I get to do amazing things I enjoy nearly every day, and I'm pursuing stressful but exciting life goals in my doctoral work.  I was not so stressed that I needed a drink every night.  I certainly didn't need several drinks yet I found ways to justify those too.

The 3 weeks went by surprisingly quickly.  Only once do I remember being tempted to drink, but it happened when I was at work and the bartenders were making some interesting cocktails, and I wanted to try them.  Luckily, I was at work, and I'm not allowed to sample the cocktails, so it wasn't too tough to resist.  More than once during the 3 weeks I was with friends who were drinking and I easily said no.  I'm still a bit shocked at how easy it was.

I helped start the University of Michigan Club of San Diego Hiking Group.
One morning we hiked down to Cedar Creek falls.
A few of us braved the freezing water to swim in this beautiful... water hole?
I don't know what to call it.  Natural pool?
Whatever, that's VV and me nonchalantly posing for the camera after swimming across the icy water.

This is where I work.

For a few days, when I got to the point of the night when I'd usually pour myself a drink, I poured myself a fancy soda, a coconut water, or some tea.  Generally my body wanted something sweet, and the corner store just 3 doors down now carries those tiny bottles of Original New York Seltzer.  I'm not a big soda drinker in general, so usually half a pint was plenty to relieve the craving.

The ease of stopping was the best part of these 3 weeks.  I've been a little worried that I would be unable to stop drinking.  When I lived in Chicago, I developed quick a drinking habit.  I would regularly polish off a bottle of wine by myself or go through a decent portion of a bottle of Jack.  I drank often and a lot.  (Lesson learned: don't continuously try to impress rugby players with your amazing drinking abilities.  Never ever has this been worth it.)  The habit has continued during my life in California.  I drink as often but not as much in a day, on my light or heavy days.  I still wasn't sure if I would be able to stop on my own.  I'm relieved that I could.

One of the beautiful views at Torrey Pines State Park

This is where I go to school.

The worst part of completing these 3 weeks is that I don't feel much different.  I really expected to feel healthier and lighter in spirit.  I've also been working out very regularly and upping my intensity, so I expected to feel fitter, stronger.  I expected to sleep better.  Honestly, none of those things happened.  I may be slightly fitter but it feels like that is entirely due to my workout "routine" (which is anything but routine).

It's been almost a week since I completed this list item, and I've only had one day of drinking that centered around college football.  I hope this 3 week period slowed down the work my liver has had to do these past few years.  I still have yet to feel the evidence of actually being healthier for stopping drinking, but I'm hopeful it'll show up soon.


Cheers!