#74 - Skateboard

When I wrote this item, I wrote, "start, skate at least 100 meters, stop."  At the time, that seemed impossible.

Last year, I chose to surf at least 10 times.  I knew I loved surfing, so I made it a priority, put it on my to do list.  In January I decided to sign up for a wakeboarding class.  I'd been wakeboarding for years but wanted to really learn more.  I also went snowboarding this year.  I have come to realize I truly love board sports.  There's something about connecting to the ground, the water, in a new way, moving fluidly, moving laterally.

With just 2 weeks left in California, it was now or never in learning to skateboard.

Well, not really.  I could skateboard anywhere.  But I had access to a board and it is such a California thing.  For those who haven't spent much time here, many people truly skateboard everywhere.  It's so popular that there are bike/skateboard paths on campus at San Diego State University and there are not only bike racks but skateboard racks outside my place of work.  It seemed like the right place to start.

Riding & Foot Selfie-ing

I'd spent probably a year playing with the board indoors.  We have a huge living room and long hallway, so I'd push around, knowing there were walls to stop me before I gained much momentum, even with the sloped floors.

On Monday, I decided to take the board out and skateboard to grab lunch across campus.  There are so few people on campus in the summer, and, like I mentioned, there's an actual bike & board path.  So I kick-pushed, slowly, across campus.  And realized how much skateboarding is like any other board sport.  And how much I love board sports.  They're so wonderfully challenging and comforting at the same time.

It's been over a week that I bring my board to work every day, ride from my far away parking spot every day.  I'm still bad at it, but I love to ride, and I'm getting better all the time.  Thankfully I've spent enough time on other boards, wheels, and blades that I know when to bail, and I'm too chicken to go down any steep inclines, so it's been a good week injury free.

I can't wait to be a poser Californian riding around campus, fighting for a campus path, searching for other board sports so I can keep riding in Massachusetts.  While I'm sad it took me so long, I'm pleased I didn't let a limited amount of time stop me from trying something I'd always wanted to do.  I hope to bring that attitude with me to Massachusetts too.

#33 - Do Yoga Every Day for 14 Days

I started 2015 with some intentions: to be more present, to prioritize my appreciation of the beautiful place where I live, and to reconnect with myself.  Perfectly timed, Mosaic yoga studio, about which I had heard so many wonderful things and happens to be just two blocks from my home, offered a Groupon deal.  I purchased the Groupon, invited others to join me, and started a true yoga practice.  I practiced yoga every day for 7 days, alternating between classes at Mosaic and practicing at home with videos.  2015 had a very rough start, and taking the time to dive into the moment and into myself each day brought me to a place of healing and resilience instead of dwelling in hurt and frustration.

When I first started practicing yoga with Campus Recreation at Northeastern Illinois University, I enjoyed the practice but was inconsistent in my attendance.  After that I would drop in classes at various studios but never stuck to anything.  Ever those 7 days in a row in 2015, I have been attending yoga at Mosaic, particularly Kevin Freiberg's Tuesday 7:15pm class.  I attended at least 31 yoga classes at Mosaic in 2015 and have attended at least 16 more so far this year.  The best way I can describe my visits to that space is that it feels like a combination of exercise, therapy, and church.  It's good for my body and good for my soul.  While there are moments of struggle in each class, there are also moments of realization, of strength, of learning, of awareness, of forgiveness.  

Six weeks before my departure, I ran out of pre-paid classes and knew I could not afford to pay full price since I have yet to start my full-time job.  Again, Mosaic heard my call and offered a Memorial Day discount package.  I was skeptical I would use all 10 classes, but if I even went once a week, the price would be worth it.  To encourage myself to use even more of the classes, to max out my time at Mosaic, I decided to practice yoga every day for 14 days.  It turned out to be 15 days with 6 classes at Mosaic and the other 9 days at home.  I made it to Kevin's class 3 weeks in a row and added a few new classes.  I particularly enjoyed John's slow, meditative yoga, which sounds relaxing but was instead particularly challenging in its slowness.  I'm sad I won't make it to anymore of John's classes in the remainder of my time here, but I do plan to go to Kevin's class one last time.  It's important enough to me that I've refused to make social plans that evening, my last Tuesday in town, unless it's after class.

As I am leaving San Diego, I am very sad to be leaving Mosaic.  But, like I told Sophie, my time at Mosaic taught me what I need -- in yoga and in other aspects of my life -- and I'm hopeful I will find another space to continue my practice. 

#16 - Submit a Piece of Writing for Publication

Oh, academic research.  You're so useful and important and sometimes engaging and also tedious and time consuming.  This one piece took way longer than anticipated... and I have 5 others in various stages of completion.  While 4 of those should have been simpler to produce in an article format because they're based on my dissertation, which is already written, this article got done first.  Why?  Because DeJuan Benford, my supervisor at San Diego State University, allowed me to set a goal for the year of submitting a piece of writing for publication, turn a work assignment into a full-blown research project, request assistance from one of our student leaders, and work on it at work periodically.

The original assignment was to gather sport club dues information to assist San Diego State's sport club teams in setting their team dues.  At the time, I was just starting to analyze my data for my dissertation, so I realized the value in turning information gathering into formal data collection for academic research.  At that point, I did not realize how stupidly tedious and time consuming data cleaning and formatting can be.  

After I had agreed to do the project, in a meeting with our Sport Club Executive Board, DeJuan asked the five student Sport Club Executive Board members if anyone would like to assist me with the project.  For some reason, Mark Slader volunteered.  Mark is great.  At the time, he was also in school full-time, president of his sport club team, Executive President of sport clubs, and studying for the MCAT.  Then he was signed with the San Diego Growlers, a professional team in the American Ultimate Disc League.  Plus probably some other things.  And the project was all voluntary... as in he wasn't getting paid.  So I hope some form of this research is accepted for publication so he at least gets a line on his resume out of it.

Me & King Mark

Instead of describing all the tedious steps, here's a quick summary:
IRB: me
Survey design: me
Survey testing: Mark & DeJuan
E-mail address collection: Mark & me
Survey distribution: me
Data cleaning: Mark & me
Literature review: me
Data analysis: me
Synthesis: Mark & me
Writing: me
Editing: Mark & me
Article submission: me

I actually find the literature review, data analysis, and writing to be interesting.  Data cleaning, however, is the worst.  It's one of three reasons I could never be a researcher.  (The first reason is that I'd be too lonely and the third is that I don't sit still well.)  I'm so thankful Mark helped with that part because I might not have made it to the end if I had to do all of on my own.

The article focuses on the increasingly costs of higher education, the demonstrated value of highly involved campus programs like sport clubs (particularly for low-income students who are also more likely to be members of populations already underrepresented in higher education), a summary of the findings about the variability of the costs and funding strategies in institutions, and an exploration of relationships between institutional characteristics and costs for participation in sport clubs.  I'm hopeful to further explore this topic because our findings have the potential to be useful to the profession and additional responses and validity would add to that.

So, I've now co-authored and submitted a piece of writing for publication.  I can't wait to do the next one... mostly because the data has already been cleaned and analyzed :)  I do hope to continue to do academic research, to always be working on a project, because it's really gratifying, at times fun, and so important to further the legitimacy of my profession and for informed decision making.  I'm also saying that knowing this article will likely come back with revisions (since it's the first article either of us has submitted), so maybe I'll feel differently after receiving that harsh academic feedback.

#13 - Eat at Hodad's

We stole this spot from some children.

When I first showed Jenn Hayes my list, she was like, I want to do these things.  The one she was most emphatic about was going to eat at Hodad's.  Other people had offered to do that one, but their heart wasn't in it like hers.

Thumbs up.

When I got my job offer, I texted Jenn telling her we needed to go get Hodad's or drinks soon.  She only saw the Hodad's part.  Fortunately, the evening we picked, she was already with Corry Vogel, so the gang got back together again once last time.

I really thought the line would be terrible and long.  It looked like when I got there, but the 3 of us have entertained each other through really tedious office work, so I figured that line was no match for us.  Then it took less than 10 minutes, so I was almost disappointed that we didn't even have time for weird conversations.  

I love the lisence plate game.

I got the Blue Jay burger and they both got mini burgers.  Jenn & I both got baskets and Corry meant to, but it's a good thing we didn't because there were SO MANY FRIES.  The food was great.  The company was better.  I know this post should be more about this legendary burger joint, but I'm just too sad thinking about it.  I wasn't emotionally prepared for any goodbyes yet, but Jenn was off to Hawaii the next day for a few weeks, so I wouldn't get to see her again before I leave.  So many adventures as well as so much boring office work that turned into so much fun we sometimes cried tears of joy.  And saying goodbye to that made me cry tears of sadness. Miss you already. #soulbread4lyfe #3rahims

#31 - Get a Full-time Job

I really missed city living, so as I was finishing my Ph.D., I focused my job search on Chicago, New York, DC, Boston, Philly, and San Francisco.  Working in higher education, the further advanced in the career path, the fewer positions there are at each university and thus in each city.  So while it might seem like searching in these six large cities would give me a big enough net, I think I only applied to three positions in those six cities.  I (begrudingly) applied to 20+ positions outside of those cities.

(Quick pause: Yes, I understand San Diego is technically a big city.  But it doesn't have the big city
feel.  It's not quite "urban."  Even downtown is flooded with tourists who have heard how cool the Gaslamp District is.  It's not that cool.  San Diego is great.  It is.  I get to surf, play beach volleyball, sail, and wakeboard year round.  I cannot tell you the last time I checked the weather before deciding what to wear.  It's all kinds of beautiful.  The beach.  The mountains.  The desert. The sunsets.  I mean... damn.  But I miss public transit and walking between neighborhoods and world class museums, art, performance and music.)

Alan and Jesse met me for pre-interview dinner.
Yay friendship!

During the application process, I rested my hopes of moving back to an urban area on two faculty positions and one collegiate recreation position.  While the faculty positions seemed great, throughout my search process, my heart has stayed in collegiate recreation, specifically student development.  I'm still a little in awe of that the perfect position for me actually worked out.  I'm the new Assistant Director of Training and Development at Northeastern University in Boston.  (Not to be confused with Northeastern Illinois University in Chicago, which was my previous full-time employer.  Just like University of San Diego, my doctoral institution, is not to be confused with San Diego State University, my part-time employer while I finished my Ph.D.  Maybe good things come in confusingly named pairs for me.)  In the position I get to supervise the student facility staff, which will be a great complement to my programming experience, as well as collaborate with all staff, professional and student, for a department-wide student development plan.  I literally get to take all of the leadership and organizational theories I studied in my doctoral program, collaborate with colleagues and students, and work in collegiate recreation to promote learning and community.  I am so excited for this next step.

#19 - Visit Harry Potter World

I am one of those people who is instantly skeptical about anything popular.  I avoid pumpkin-spice lattes and Grey's Anatomy and those drink-and-paint places.  There's just something about me that resists those bits of life that people of my age and gender are "supposed" to like.  I'd like to think that I'm just less influenced by marketing and societal roles, but really, it's likely due to my own ego, which insists on being unique... which is great, to the point that it becomes inauthentic.

I resisted Harry Potter until 2003.  Even though I've always been an avid reader, it was too trendy.  I wasn't going to cave to the everybody's-doing-it attitude.  In my early 20's, I read literature, not children's books.  

Then my mom started reading them and passed them on to me when she was finished.  Just pages into Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I was hooked.  I quickly read through all of the available books, and by 2005, I was one of those people who pre-ordered the book and had it delivered upon the release via Amazon.

Let 'er rip, Ern

(The story of my reading of the sixth book has a tragic twist.  I picked it up at midnight and then hid it from myself because I was studying for my personal training certification.  I made myself wait until the exam was over.  Unfortunately, I was also working at a summer day camp.  In between swim lessons, two 2nd graders walked passed me and one said to the other, "So-and-so kills so-and-so," though she used their names.  "Nooooooooooooo!" I cried.  "You can't just SAY things like that!"  I then told a friend who had finished the book that a 2nd grader had spoiled it for me, and she said, "That's okay.  If you don't know how, you're okay."  And I said, "She said so-and-so does it."  And she said, "Oh, yeah, it's ruined."  I never even used that personal training certification.  I still can't forgive that second grader.  Just kidding.  Kind of.)

I've read the books through twice.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen the movies.

Taking the Hogwarts Express with one of my
oldest friends

This year, my national conference was in Orlando.  (Or Kissimmee, or whatever.)  Every year, at said conference, I room with one of my very best friends, Nicole Green.  Months ago, as we were making plans for our stay in Orlando (or whatever), we brought up the idea of staying an extra day to hang out... maybe visit a theme park... maybe...  Coincidentally (or actually probably not at all coincidentally because it's one of the reasons I love her), Nicole is also very into Harry Potter.  I'm a broke student, so I told her that I'd work a few extra catering shifts to go to Harry Potter World with her but I probably wouldn't do the same for Disney, which I'd been to enough that it's not worth the money while I have none.  She agreed.  Yay!

Wednesday night, Nicole received a big award.  Thursday morning I was the one slow moving in the morning but we made it to Hogsmeade in plenty of time, rode the new Hogwarts ride, walked through town, took the train to Diagon Alley, walked around, and then were slammed in the face when we learned the Gringotts ride was temporarily closed.  We walked around Diagon Alley some more.  Had lunch at the Three Broomsticks (!!!) had some butterbeer (!!!!!), hung around, then finally walked around the rest of that side of Universal.

I'm so happy I was able to immerse in Harry Potter with my Muggle bff!

#25 - Defend My Dissertation

What an emotional roller coaster.  So cliche, but I can't think of any other way to describe this process.  Here's the brief story of how this all happened.

In 2012, after 6 great years at Northeastern Illinois University, I decided I wanted to do more.  I wanted to get a Ph.D. with the hopes of pursuing a path to a Vice President of Student Affairs position, where I could effect greater changes on a campus than I could as an Aquatics Coordinator.  Plus, with a Ph.D., I'd always have the option to go the faculty route if I so chose.

Man, did I sob when I left NEIU.  It was my first full-time position in collegiate recreation and it became my home.  Most days, I loved going to work.  I worked, I played, I learned.  It was at NEIU that I first learned about privilege and started to think about my role in the systems of higher education and our nation.  I also learned I had a unique perspective about student mental health as a child of two mental health professionals.  And I learned that what I love most in the world is community building and creating safe, fun spaces that promote genuine connections.  Plus, we laughed and played a lot, things I never really realized could be incredibly valuable components of a workplace.

Just another day on the job

Very soon after starting my doctoral program in Leadership Studies at the University of San Diego, I struggled with my place and professional goals.  I didn't get a graduate assistantship and I couldn't find a job.  I finally went to the recreation office.  They rejected me.  Twice.  They kept saying they didn't take unsolicited resumes and I could visit their job opportunities website.  I did.  It only advertised a kickboxing instructor position, one of the few positions in recreation for which I have absolutely zero qualifications.  Eventually I e-mailed the Intramural Coordinator who met with me, frowned a lot at my resume, told me he'd obviously give me a job, passed on my resume to the director who gave me 20 hours a week between the office and intramurals, and eventually became my friend.

As I voiced my desire to pursue a path to the Vice Presidency, my colleagues and instructors told me I needed to get experience outside of recreation and to put my studies in another context.  My reaction was always the same: "I agree, but...  You don't have to get experience in recreation.  And recreation is just as important if not more important than other Student Affairs offices."  Then I realized that my defensiveness came from my reluctance to leave recreation.  I loved recreation.  I had wanted to become a Vice President to effect greater change, but I could effect change from anywhere, and I chose collegiate recreation.

I still struggled with finances and my not-well-defined position with USD recreation.  I eventually moved over to work part-time at San Diego State University with intramurals and sport clubs.  I love my position, my coworkers, and my students, and I'm doing my best to remain in denial that I have to leave soon.  I finally feel valued, valuable, challenged, and supported again.

Although I finally found a position that fits me, I have struggled financially throughout my entire time at USD.  When USD told me that they worked with students to ensure they had reasonable financial aid packages and that if I worked hard, I would be eligible for graduate assistantships and scholarships, I believed them.  I've worked incredibly hard.  My grades are great.  My work is even better.  My financial aid package has been comprised of student loans with decreasing grants every year even though my estimated family contribution is $0.  I have continued to pick up flexible part-time jobs so that I can pay my bills and at this point, as a Ph.D., have 5 jobs that I juggle and work as much as possible, which is usually 20-30 hours a week on top of my academic obligations.  I never have a day off completely.  The few that I have taken off, I'm riddled with guilt because I know that near the end of the semester I'll struggle to pay my rent and bills... again.

One of my happy places

When I started the program, holding a teaching assistant position and even teaching in the undergrad leadership program was voluntary.  I pursued both anyways.  Eventually they added a 1-credit stipend, which was nice, but only in that I have fewer loans as the amount was subtracted from my financial aid package, so I was still in the same place in the short run.  Every semester I requested a teaching and/or teaching assistant position and only received 2 in 4 years, including summers.  The process for choosing teaching assistants has been revamped and is supposedly more fair, giving preference to students without graduate assistantships, but I've still lost out positions to current graduate assistants who are receiving full tuition, a stipend, and benefits.  I also acknowledge it's not fair pitting us against each other.  We all want the experience on our resume.  It's just incredibly frustrating.

Another happy place

While my fruitless pursuit of funding has been overwhelming at times, the most frustrating aspect of the process is that nearly every single semester, my financial aid was incorrect.  By my second year, I was in the habit of writing to our "One Stop Student Center" a few weeks before the semester to confirm my financial aid was set to be disbursed correctly and on time.  I do not think there was a single semester that happened, and only once was it my fault (as we have to state how many credits we are taking, I registered for a different amount, but there was no where to check to see how many I had stated, so I couldn't check it).  By my last year, I accompanied each e-mail with a line to the effect of "I am registered for 1 dissertation unit, which qualifies me for full financial aid as I am a doctoral student.  Before you explain to me that 1 unit does not qualify for financial aid, please check with financial aid."

Yet another happy place

These financial struggles really affected my mental health, which was curious as throughout the program I focused my studies on campus mental health.  That, and the competitiveness I felt from some of my peers.  I still can't quite figure out why I feel as if I have to appear casually flawless in my academic and professional pursuits in the context of my academic colleagues when I do not feel that same pressure with my professional colleagues.  I do know that affected my social relationships to the point that I made a conscious decision to be less social in general and less social through my academic program in particular.

At the end of my third year, I decided to focus entirely on my dissertation and working as much as possible.  I chose the outlets of physical activity, nature, literature, and the relationships I have that make me feel the most like myself: with my parents, a few, select friends outside of San Diego, and even fewer in San Diego.  It was a difficult decision and I still feel guilty for neglecting some friendships.  However, I know that it was the right decision because the care and kindness I was able to show myself has led to healthier life choices and a confidence in my own capacities as I completed my dissertation (the biggest accomplishment of my life) and transition back to professional life.  I'm thrilled I took the time to really fall in love with San Diego and all of the activities that brought me energy and life when I needed it most.

The dissertation itself has been a bizarre process.  I was always open to changing topics and assumed I would throughout my four years, just as I had in my master's program.  However, I ended on a more-developed version of the same topic I had written about in my application to the program: campus mental health.

Growing up with two mental health professionals as parents and having mental health treatment as a common dinner table conversation, I had a unique perspective as a Student Affairs professional.  I realized how important outside-the-classroom learning opportunities and communities are for healthy campuses, how my role as a Student Affairs professional allowed me to connect with students and to create spaces for students to connect with each other, and how my knowledge of mental health and campus treatment options were vital in connecting students to care.  Not surprisingly, my dissertation results support just those ideas.  I am thrilled to have found results that support environments to intentionally foster genuine relationships and caring campus communities.  The work we do as Student Affairs professionals is so important to protect students from unnecessary distress and to respond to distress when it arises within our communities.

I am eternally thankful for my parents, who supported me emotionally, cognitively, financially, physically, and socially throughout this process.  They are and will always be my favorite people.  I was able to put my guilt aside to spend real time with them when they came to visit or I was able to visit them.  I'm thankful for the way they see me and that we have so many activities that we enjoy in common.

I am so lucky that I had courses with my dissertation committee members, Dr. Christopher Newman, Dr. Zachary Green and Dr. Lee Williams, and that they later agreed to be part of my dissertation journey.  I invited them to join my committee because I knew that they all had my best interests and academic greatness at heart.  While at times I was nervous for their feedback because I had worked so hard and the work itself was so dear to my heart, receiving the feedback was comforting as it was always given as a gift to push me and my work to be better.  I felt as if they truly believed in me and my work and were eager to see what more I could do.

I am particularly grateful for my dissertation committee chair, Dr. Christopher Newman.  I had many moments of frustration and distress, yet he always received my concern with an easy confidence that I would be fine, that I was more than capable of everything of which I was being asked.  That confidence kept me working and writing so that I finished the process a week earlier than timeline we had set.

I am thankful to have had so many supportive people in and near my dissertation defense.  I had not fully admitted how stressful the final process had been.  I had not been eating nor sleeping well.  I coped by working and working out a lot.  I had lost a lot of weight.

Before my defense, Mariko Peshon offered to practice with me.  Her feedback and willingness to spend her time while I stumbled through my first verbal reading of my material was tremendously helpful.  Grace Bagunu let me call her late at night to run through my presentation the night before, which really helped me iron out some kinks for the next day.

The night before my defense I went to yoga at Mosaic where I felt the love from Sophie, Kevin, Gracie, and later, Kevin again plus two other instructors when they happened to be at Luigi's when I went to get pizza.  (To be fair, Kevin had mentioned pizza before class, and then I couldn't stop thinking about it, so it wasn't quite a coincidence, but it was still lovely.)

The Committee and me

The day of my defense I went to a sport club council meeting in the morning and felt genuinely supported by my coworkers and the students with whom I work closely.  I was excited and nervous that my two supervisors were planning to attend the defense itself.  When I arrived at the room, my dear friend Maria Trias texted to ask if I needed anything.  She came to meet me, helped me ensure the technology would be ready, waited in line with me when I went to purchase chocolate milk, and offered to meditate with me, which I wish I would have taken her up on.  She promised to laugh quietly anytime anyone (a.k.a. Zachary) asked an incredibly difficult question, and she delivered.  After Maria, in walked another dear friend, Kai Matthews.  She was full of the warm, excited energy she is always able to bring to tense events.  I was so grateful to have her unrelenting smile in the room through the entire defense.  I was also happy to see Warren Whittaker, another classmate who is always full of encouragement and some sports talk, which is such a relief.  DeJuan Benford and Andrew Lutz, my supervisors at San Diego State, had some issues with the USD tram, but they made it in time for the questions, the wait, and the celebration.  It meant a lot to me that they took time off to support and celebrate with me.

My committee was tough but allowed me to engage with their questions in ways that were beneficial to my work as a whole.

I was so happy to see my parents sitting outside when the defense itself was over.  It was a nerve-racking 20 minutes or so, but it was fun to introduce them to the people who had supported me from near while they supported me from afar.

Christopher came into the hallway and immediately said, "Congratulations, Dr. Krone."  I still haven't processed that.  Their suggested revisions were consistent with their feedback throughout the process: all items that would improve my work and allowed for my knowledge of the work to shine through.

I celebrated with my parents, DeJuan, Andrew, Kai, and two other coworkers: AJ Gonzalez and his fiancee Lacy that night.  It was so pleasant.  The celebrations continued the next day as my parents and I drank and ate around the city.  It was a really great day.

I was able go to Chicago the following week to celebrate with some of my very favorite friends, including a nice stay with the Zanns.  It was a fantastic 5 days.

I still haven't processed that it is over.  I am just now getting back to a regular eating and sleeping schedule.  I'm so thankful and happy and relieved and proud and encouraged.