#94 - Wakeboard again

I suppose this isn't "new."  I didn't even try it anywhere new nor do anything new.

I did plan to find somewhere new to wakeboard, like here in California, but nope.

I just assumed it would be somewhere new because I wasn't going to camp this year, the one place I can just wakeboard if I feel like wakeboarding.

But then...

This summer was crazy stressful.  I was back coordinating aquatics 40 hours a week and with much less control than the previous 7 years I coordinated aquatics.  Plus, I never wanted to coordinate aquatics in the first place.  Nor teach swimming.  Nor lifeguard.  Yet I did so for around 12 years.  And now I had left it for good to go get my PhD... and yet found myself back in aquatics to help pay my living expenses this summer.

I was also struggling with some personal things that I couldn't even quite identify or articulate.

One night I was up late chatting with Grace about why I was having such a rough time.  She asked me what would make me happy.  The voice in my head immediately answered "camp."  I thought of a few other things but that's the one thing that was not only in my past but always in my future.  The problem was that I wasn't going to camp this year.  I teared up at the thought.

The next morning my mom called.  Early.  Too early.  At first I was going to "dismiss" the call and call her later.  But then I worried that she knew exactly how early it was for me and that it was important.  It was.

She called to offer to get me to camp.  She'd use her frequent flyer miles and they'd pay for me to go.  I felt an immediate relief.  I told her I had to check my schedule and flights.

I then had a rough day after a job interview for a job that wouldn't work because it was temporary but full-time, which I couldn't do.  I called my mom to tell her I would go to camp, right after class on Tuesday night.  She didn't realize I had class until Tuesday night.  She said it didn't make much sense to do that... to just go Wednesday through Saturday.  I felt heartbroken.

I then talked to my parents later and we decided to explore it.  We found a red eye on Tuesday.  I booked it knowing that this very intense (time, effort, energy, emotion, cognitive, interpersonal, all of it) class ended at 9pm and we were supposed to leave 30-60 minutes after the last 3 classes in case we ran long.  The flight they booked was at 10:50pm.

I talked to my professor the first day of class about this pull I was feeling.  He agreed it was the right decision and gave me permission to leave at 9:15pm the last night.

This isn't the space to discuss the class but it was incredibly meaningful and powerful.  I am so impressed and inspired by my classmates, our professor, and our teaching assistant.  I was so moved at what was shared that I didn't leave class until closer to 9:45pm and had trouble sleeping on my red eye to Atlanta followed by a flight to Albany because I was processing everything that happened the last night of class.

Back to this story, I got out of class at 9:45pm and my dear work friend Brian actually waited on campus for me until I called him even though I told him that I needed a ride at 9:15pm.  He got me to the airport just in time for me to board.

I flew to camp, reunited with family and friends and friend family / family friends.  I lived out my camp nightmare and it was really a dream.  I am in love with that place and have been my whole life.

Again, back to this story, I wakeboarded on Thursday morning... after getting up at 6:45am (Eastern.  3:45am Pacific) to canoe for a swim race that didn't actually happen until 8:45am.  I was tired and I hadn't wakeboarded since I had last been at camp in 2010.

It was a dream.  I got up right away and stayed up almost the entire time, including while practicing jumping.  I only fell once when my back and arms were exhausted from gripping for 10 minutes or so, using muscles in ways they haven't been used in 3 years.  I hit a bump, lost my grip, and just sunk easily into the water.  We all agreed a little float would be nice for a few minutes.  I then tried a few more jumps and made it all the way back to the dock with the top of my head still dry.

So thank you to Grace for helping me realize where I needed to be, Mom & Dad for actually getting me there, Brian for literally getting me there, and Zachary for giving me permission to go (though there are probably other experiences I had that mattered more in relation to class than this).  I really needed this this year.  So much that I forgive my mom for missing taking a picture even though she was waiting right there on the beach.

RETROACTIVE 2012 #33 - Pay off a credit card

Ditto from the previous post.  Thanks, Mom & Pops.

RETROACTIVE 2012 #32 - Pay off a loan

In an unprecedented move, my dad realized that he helped me do 2 things that I just assumed I had to do by myself but really, it was a big sacrifice, so he should definitely get credit.  My parents helped me pay off my car loan before heading to school.  Thanks, folks.

#67 - Perform a Marriage Ceremony.

 What a coincidence!  Chris & Casey asked me to be their wedding officiant!

Okay, maybe they had already asked and I put it on the list but I wasn't about to do this and not count it as a new thing for my list.

When they called, I was expecting to be asked to be in the wedding.  I was not expecting
Casey: "We were hoping you would marry us...  I mean, perform the marriage, not to actually marry us."
Me: "Good, because I don't it's legal for me to marry either of you in the state of Michigan."  (Though I'm hoping Michigan gets it together soon for same-sex marriage.  I'm okay without the right to marry my brother though.)
I was shocked but accepted.

I asked my dear friend Nick Smith how he went about getting ordained, and he sent me to the Universal Life Church.  It is frighteningly easy to become ordained.  No, I didn't have to take a test.  No, I didn't have to make any pledges.  I just had to enter my address and pay $7 to get a certificate.  I paid an extra $4 to get a card for my wallet because I sure wasn't going to turn that down.  That's it.  You know, because marriage is so sacred in the United States.  (There are different rules for each state though, so make sure you look into your state & county regulations if you're thinking of joining those of us of the cloth.)

I then sought out what to wear.  I told Chris & Casey that I wasn't going to be their homely, single, older, cat-lady sister marrying them in a pant suit.  I was going to be cute.  So I found a lacy dress from White House Black Market and colored it up to match the wedding party.

I put off writing my homily for a long time.  That is the part I was the most nervous about.  I have pretty much completely lost my fear of public speaking thanks to my physical education studies and years and years teaching at the college level and facilitating trainings.

I do, however, am terrified of expressing emotions in public.  I also hate letting people read my writing.  So writing something to read in an emotional situation was a little tough.

I took ideas from Kelley Oxley and Jeff Garri's wedding in Las Vegas in December 2012.  Kelley's coworker asked them a series of questions, such as describing their first date and when they first knew they were in love.  It was really sweet to watch them hear the kind words their partner had said about them.

So I did a version of that and then decided to tell it as a story.

I was still missing something though.  I wanted to leave them with a little message or advice or something.  But who am I, their older, never-married sister, to give them marriage advice

So I turned to their parents who have been married for a combined 70 years.  They gave me some small snippets which were just perfect.

The day of the wedding I was somehow just content and confident.  The only thing I would have changed was to find a better way to prep the audience than having them sit directly in the beaming Michigan July sun for 20 or so minutes before we started.  But shuttles are sometimes late.


The ceremony was quick and fun and so very authentic Chris & Casey.

I am honored that they asked me to fulfill such an important role in their day.  I am honored that the wedding guests were so attentive and kind.  I am thankful to Grace Bagunu and Angela Mioglionico who let me practice with them and gave me some thoughtful, kind feedback.

It was a really nice day.

Oh, and last but certainly not least...  I got to sign the marriage license at a bowling alley.  Perfection.

#40 - Go on a Blind Date

Why do I find this so embarrassing?

First I was super uncomfortable anytime anyone would even suggest setting me up on a blind date.  Luckily no one who suggested it ever followed through.  (So, by the way, if you suggest setting me up on a blind date, I'll agree, but mostly it's because I know you won't.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.  But you won't.)

So then I allowed my dear, lifelong friend Amelia Gomez to convince me to join Match.com and even let her edit my profile.  Including pictures.  She even insisted that I include a bit about how I have some really great friends I have been known for 20+ years.  You know, friends like Amelia :)  I suppose she should know though since she just married her love Carlos Cortez last weekend.  And wow, are they fun to hang with.  We had so much fun we forgot to leave the apartment when I visited them in Orange County in the fall.

I've traded a few messages.  A few times a guy asked to meet me for a drink or something, and a couple times I agreed.  And then I never heard from him again.

Wait, you might say, Match.com does not count as a blind date.  Well, you know what?  Remember that blind date you promised to set me up on?  Well, you never did.  And, no, you wouldn't have.  So this is as close as I could get.  And honestly, it probably made me even more uncomfortable than a real blind date because here I am agreeing to meet someone and no one is even vouching for this person.  Who knows what I'm getting into?

So this guy and I traded a few messages about trips and camping.  (And, yes, camping is still on my list because guess what, many of you have also been like, "WHAT?  YOU've never been CAMPING?!  How is that possible!?  We are going to GO!  Like THIS summer."  But just like the blind date you were going to set me up on, we didn't.  For a thousand reasons, none of them being that I'm not willing to go.  Camping does not make me uncomfortable like dating strangers does but it's not something I'm going to go do by myself the first time.)  So he made some camping destination suggestions and mentioned going to the new Stone location at Liberty Station.  I said I hadn't been yet and he suggested we go.

So we did.  I met him at Stone.  He was super friendly and full of decent conversation.  I had a couple beers, he had a couple beers and some food, and then we played some bocce.  He won and I tried not to be angry about that.

I suppose dating doesn't have to be as scary as I assume it will be.  It still makes me outrageously uncomfortable leading up to it.

Also, Stone at Liberty Station is flippin sweet.

I also want to give a quick thank you to my buddy Grace Bagunu who offered and followed through on sending a check-up text to make sure I was okay and offering to be my emergency out.  Thinking back, even if it were miserable, I think I would have felt way better just telling the guy I was going to leave than faking an emergency text.  But I appreciated Grace's love and support anyways.  So I went to meet her and Jessica after and we had some delicious drinks and stayed out way too late for a Tuesday night.

#98 - Get a Tattoo

So I just kinda assumed this one was on my list.  Apparently it wasn't this year.  But...  since it's kind of a big one, I just replaced another one that I didn't like anymore.  :)

Pre-2011
I never thought I would get a tattoo.  When the topic would come up in conversation, I would think, there's just nothing in my life that is really, really personal that I know I will continue to love for the rest of my life.  I'm not exactly a fickle person but I couldn't think of anything that had always been in my life, that would always be in my life, that I felt so connected to that I could see it everyday.  I mean, I liked playing volleyball.  Nope.  I like... strawberries?  Nope.  A block M?  No...  None of those things were personal or meaningful enough for me.  Plus, putting something permanent on my body seems so personal to me that I would never do something that was really about my connection to another person.  That may also be because I've lost some pretty meaningful connections in my life but also because the long-term connections I have just... dont' make sense in tattoo form.  So no tattoo.

2011
Um...  Duh, Megs.  Of course I have something personal and meaningful, something where my connection to it is just mine.  When I first tell people about it, they usually react with something akin to "um... okay..."  But the folks who have known me for a long time know that it's just part of me.  That thing is my love of sharks.  I LOVE SHARKS.  I love them.  I always have.  From the first day I watched Shark Week.  And yes, Shark Week became a hip thing to watch for a bit recently but I've been watching it since elementary school.  It was the only thing I was allowed to stay up until 10pm to watch... probably because I'd throw a fit if I didn't and we didn't have DVR back in the day.  So... a shark.  I'd get a tattoo of a shark.  It's so obvious to me now.

2012
If I get a shark, what kind of shark would it be?  I wanted a pretty shark.  The way I see sharks.  I wanted the feeling I get when I go to my Chicago Happy Place: the Shark Reef at the Shedd Aquarium.  I had a membership for 3 years, pretty much just because of that tank.  If I was having a rough week, I'd go to the Shedd, wander around a big, see my favorite snake (the Emerald Tree Boa in the Amazon), the poison dart frogs, maybe the jellies, and then I'd go see the sharks.  The big sharks.  The sandbar and black tip reef sharks.  The leopard sharks.  The guitar fish if I were lucky (which really only seemed to happen when I went with Laura Masters).  I wanted a tattoo that gave me that awe-full feeling I had in front of that tank.  They're so beautiful and incredible, especially when swimming out of the murky depths in the back of the tank to the window.  So fluid.  I wanted something that gave that beautiful shape and motion.  I couldn't find the design I wanted so I picked an artist at Deluxe in Chicago.  But then...

2013
... I decided to move to San Diego.  I decided to wait for San Diego for 3 reasons.  1) I was leaving Chicago partly to let go of some tough times, so why would I get something permanent that kept me connected just at the point when I was trying to let go?  2) Um... I was moving to San Diego, where tattoos are pretty standard and it felt like part of my initiation into the culture.  And 3) Yeah, moving to SAN DIEGO, you know, where there's the, like, ocean, with actual sharks in it.  Plus, I found my design.

I also thought a lot about the meaning.  I suppose I have a lot of connections to sharks.  I think they're beautiful, mysterious, resilient, misunderstood...  They have incredible sensory abilities.  They attack the weak and in doing so make the whole stronger.  They live in the moment.  They've been around forever and have only changed what's been necessary.  I just think they're beautiful animals.

Then, I had a lovely conversation with Grace Bagunu and our classmate Lucia about getting tattoos.  We decided to go get ours done/retouched together.  Then Tara Edberg joined the gang with the hopes of adding onto a previous tattoo.  Possibly some others were interested too.  It's tough to keep track.  People in San Diego get tattoos a lot.

So Grace found an artist she likes but he was far-ish.  Tara & I decided to hung around for places near us.  Well, Tara did.  I was too hungover to join in during the time we actually planned it.  So she did some hunting without me and then I joined her on Sunday.  We were going to go visit 3 places that were very highly rated on Yelp.

We first went to the Full Circle in North Park.  They were very friendly.  The woman at the front told us we could look through the portfolios and then either make an appointment or they might be able to get us in that day.  She introduced us to James, one of the artists, and he chatted with us about our plans.  He said he could fit us both in.  He took a tracing of Tara's tattoo and I e-mailed him my design, and he told us to come back in 20 minutes after he sketched them out.

Um... 20 minutes?!  I thought we were just shopping around, Tara!  We were supposed to go to 2 other places.  But...  then we talked more and I kinda run a swim program, and the pool was completely closed for at least another week, so if I didn't get it then, I'd probably have to wait until the end of the summer.  I did not want to do that.  So...screw it.

I called Grace because I knew she wanted to be a part of it.  She sounded sleepy.  She was sleepy.  I was quite torn between waiting for her to be there with me and wanting to stop putting it off and just do it.  (I have recently developed an INCREDIBLY low tolerance for people talking about doing things but not actually following through.  It's not so much the not following through that bothers me as much as the waste of time of talking about doing something and then not actually doing it.  So maybe it is the follow through.  But I'm tired of talking and not doing.  I want to do.)  So I decided to go through with it.  Grace, being the lovely friend she is, still came down.  She just missed my inking but was there for Tara's.  We probably should have switched order but Tara was worried that James wouldn't have time for both of us and wanted me to get mine done.  So Grace, again, my apologies.  You're a good friend.  I think I need to learn to trust my new friends' words that they are doers, not just talkers.  It may take me some time, but I'll work on it!

So I have a tattoo now.  I flipping love it.

#87 - Join a League in San Diego

Again, I forgot that this one was on my list.  That was probably partly because I have been on the USD Club Beach Volleyball team since the fall and we play in a league.  But when I wrote this goal, I meant join a league, as in just that, and play the whole thing.

I signed up as a free agent for a 4 on 4 co-ed competitive beach league on Wednesday nights.  I was a bit nervous about it because volleyball is one of the very, very few things about which I am a complete snob.  However, I never played on any official, organized team, in high school or anything.  I mean, I tried out in high school:  freshman year I got cut; sophomore year I quit during try outs and opted for indoor track instead; junior year I was in the last 6 cut from the varsity squad; and I guess I just didn't try out senior year. I was pretty into track by that time.  Strangely, I don't think I missed a single summer of volleyball camp though, and my last 2 years I was in the highest group, along with the varsity players, at Concordia's camp.  I was a weird kid.

So between my lack of organized-experience and snobbery, I have a little window of players I like to play with but who aren't too snobby to play with me (something I can appreciate).

I am so thankful that my Vavi teammates seem to lie right in that window.  So far I've played with Barry, Sam, Chelsea, and Jess.  Chelsea played D2 and is pretty good.  The rest of us seem to have a range of experience but enough skill that it's fun.

Plus, it's hard to do anything but smile and enjoy myself playing on Ocean Beach just before sunset each week.  The surfers, the bonfires, the volleyball, and just (pretty &) happy people.  San Diego life is good.

UPDATE: I was also invited to join the UM Young Alumni Kickball team, so thanks to Adam Borson.